LIVING DREAMS

I have discovered that things change when you get older -- and I'm referring to culture, exploits, adventures, people. Maybe I'm just perceiving things differently, which is all too likely, but my feeling is that culturally we're in the dead zone. Where are the real people? The characters. those politically incorrect, charming and forceful speak-your-mind kind of people. The people who are true to themselves and don't give a rat's ass about what people think. The ones that do and say what makes them happy. My auntie Darlene was one of those. So were David Carradine and Quentin Crisp. The talented David Carradine died this last week. Part of me is actually quite sad. He was not only talented, but he was unique and driven, and had not only moved past his Kung Fu persona, but actually lived truer to it then he probably would have imagined. He was an artist, and a real friend to many, but also a creator of characters that had depth and pain. A real person portraying...

It's been months since I've posted, but now seems like as good a time as any... The last four months have been really busy, but I seem to like it that way. I've been up for two hours already (it's 8:30 am PST) and I've already watched an episode of NCIS on my computer, finished off a cup of coffee, and am currently plotting the weekend. Took O to the airport last night. We barely made it because traffic was horrendous. Why is it that people need to drive 20 mph slower just because it's sprinkling?? JC was cursing like a madman and using his finest lane-changing skills to get us there. We pulled up and got her through security. But I yelled out the wrong gate to her. When I realized it, it was too late. Her phone was off and she had seven minutes to get to gate 28 and I had sent her to gate 2. I cried and felt like the worst mom in the world. Not only was this the first time I've ever let her go into the airport alone, I had sent her to the wrong gate! Fo...

Hopeful. Inspired. These are the words of the day. I love inauguration day because it's the best and greatest sign of a successful democracy. No bullets to our heads. No ideological marching. No violent demonstrations. No destruction. I hope that it becomes what the speeches tell us... but I'm aware, in the back of my fuzzy brain, that there are a lot of big guns out there aiming for their piece of the pie and often people in power are loathe to let any go. I like the idea of aiming high, so let's go with that. And while it is a great gift to be a good listener, to be open to all sides, and to craft a well-balanced solution, one often ends up with a bland but diluted version of the dream. It's like selecting art by committee. You'll always end up with art that nobody hates but nobody really likes. It takes some bold moves to draw a line in the sand and push the Titanic away from iceberg. If you do it right, you're gonna piss off a lot of people -- hopefully...

There's this strange idea about resolutions -- and I have to admit that it sounds appealing. But in reality, I've never even thought out about assigning myself any. Seems like work. There's some work simmering in the back of my mind -- photos, videos, writing. I think I'll do something this year, whatever emerges. Sometimes we get comfortable, or tired, and just forget who we wanted to be and what we wanted to do. So I randomly kick myself in the pants to recharge the batteries and keep myself on track. Keep on swimmin'... It's really all about just getting up and getting out the door. Life does the rest. But that first part sure is hard, no doubt. 2009 is supposed to be all about me, and of course my soon-to-be 13-year-old. O with the skeleton of the prehistoric alligator We had a great visit to the Oakland Zoo with the twins, and met up with Miss Connie and Matias. I love little adventures like this. Life is now. What is your life?

Christmas in my family has gone through some funny and unusual moments. When I was younger it seemed to go forever and be joyous and special, or at least I thought so then. Having my grandparents there leading the way kept all the chirping to a low roar, I guess. Strange how that changes when they pass on... but so sweet how in some ways it stays the same. This year we all flew to the parent's house in lovely Port Townsend, WA -- three siblings, three significant others, four grandchildren, with a cousin, pregnant wife & daughter along to make it really cozy, all in one house. The flight was quick and peaceful, and we got a beautiful view of Mount Rainier, which sits at 14,410 feet, and is the most prominent peak in the Cascade Range. I was happy to hold and play with Lola for the ride. I'm grateful that my brother's little twins are such happy, peaceful travelers. Curiosity is a good thing... sometimes at least. Every family has its own traditions, and I'm su...

Staying in the theme of my blog, I'm determined to reconnect with myself -- which means reaching out to my friends, my past, and the things I love and want to do. So instead of spending the beloved turkey day with my brother (who is an awesome chef), his wife, his kids and his in-laws, I drove 3+ hours to Merced and spent the holiday on a 10,000 acre cattle ranch owned by the lovely Allison & Chris, which included the sister, parents and in-laws of my great old friend Gordo. Yes, I spent it with the Myers family, hiking around, sleeping in my sleeping bag and talking shop and politics with new friends (or, put more appropriately, strangers). It was special, and I was so happy to see Gordo in good spirits with a nice creative woman by his side. And of course his family was just as I remembered them -- kind, outgoing, warm and great fun. A good conversation with anyone was a chair away. But to me what was even better was the fact that we could all just relax together. I l...

It's Halloween and I just got back from buying a couple of wigs for O's costume. The place was pretty well picked over, so I didn't get the blue wig, but in the end it doesn't really matter. She's a vampire. It's all about the cape and the teeth. Halloween is one of my favorite celebrations of the year -- becuase you can dress up all day and eat candy and stay up late. And Saturday night we'll go to the Dia de los Muertos event in Petaluma... which always makes the celebration go on in a special spiritual kind of way. As the days get darker and our new president is elected, we'll be entering some real changes -- with of course hope on the horizon. In the meantime, we're hunkering down for some dark days. At least we'll have our bowl of candy and a warm fire as our economy plummets into hell. I say good riddance to all the greedy bastards out there.